Love

Tonight I have been overwhelmed by the Lord.  For the last 2 months, I have been sharing what is in the Bible with a friend.  This friend does not personally know Jesus.  However, she is searching and is learning about who God is.  All of this is very good.  I love being apart of this and have learned a lot more about what it means to live a life that shares of Jesus in word and deed in all of life.

Tonight though during the sermon at church, I was overwhelmed with a desire for her to know Christ.  I love her and know that her life will be better and more complete with Christ.  A chilling thought was brought to my mind earlier in the day when talking with my roommate about a friend of hers who died without knowing Christ.  I would be distraught and unconsolable if this friend were to die without knowing Christ.  The urgency to share that came with that thought was stronger than I have ever had to share Christ with someone.

But at church that urgency became an understanding that I cannot save her.  God saves his people.  At this point I realized all I could do was to pray.  Pray and pray and pray.  As tears streamed down my face as I prayed for God to save my friend, I was struck by God's love.  Knowing how I was struggling with my friend not knowing Jesus to the point where I felt like I could hyperventilate as I worked through the emotion, I was overwhelmed with how painful it must be for the creator to struggle with knowing that his creation is turning away from his perfect love.  How can God handle the pain and sorrow to know of so many people that do not know him?  His love is greater than mine.  The number of people he is intimately acquainted with is greater than me.  And I was in tears and distraught by 1 friend whom I love who doesn't know of Jesus' sacrifice for her to personally know God.  Wow!  I understood God and his love for the lost in a whole knew way.

Beyond a new understanding of God's desire for the lost to hear his Word, I have a new urgency in sharing Christ.  I understand in a new way why going to the nations to share the Word of God is so important.  I have not wavered in my desire to go overseas to share Christ since knowing that is where God has called me to.  There have been times that I have struggled with the implications of what that decision means for me and for my family but I know that Lord willing I will move overseas in the near future to live my life sharing Christ with many who have not heard the Good News.  My understanding tonight has lead me to praying more fervently for the nations and for the lost. I am overwhelmed by the lostness in the world tonight.

However, in the midst of all of this I have also understood Scripture in a whole new light.  I have read the parables in Luke 15 many times.  I have also spent a summer teaching these parables as part of Bible Study at Fuge.  I know that each parable speaks of something that was lost and that once found there was much rejoicing.  I understand that the parables were speaking of rejoicing over people coming to Christ in faith.  I know what it is about.  However, I have more life experience now that add context and understanding to these Scripture passages.  I told Brett the other night that when my friend places in her faith in Christ I will throw a party.  I have rejoiced with new believers before.  I have been excited in those times that I have been with someone as they prayed to God and placed their faith in him for the first time.  What a joyous moment!  However, as I consider what it will be like to have my friend come to faith I know that there will be a rejoicing that I have never experienced before.  I have not invested in sharing my faith with someone as much as I have with this friend.  I have never experienced emotions to this extent before.  I don't want to forget this.  I don't want this to be the only friend that I agonize over their not knowing Christ.  

My life is different now.  My love for this friend has lead me to learn more about God and his love for me and for all people.  I have learned more of what it means to rejoice over 1 who comes to faith.  I understand more why God took such measures to have Jonah obey and share with the Ninevites that the many might repent.  God's love is so great and I'm still learning the greatness of that love.  My prayer is that this understanding continues to grow.  That I will not forget that overwhelming feeling tonight as I cried out to God for my friend.  I continue to pray earnestly that God will save my friend.  That she will be a Child of God.