Thoughts

I haven't blogged in ages. Mostly because I didn't feel like I wanted to share about my life or that it was all that interesting. Now, I think I want to blog for myself. To share my thoughts and struggles as I look to God to teach me and mold me into a follower that brings Him glory. Let me back up a little though and share what has happened in my life since March.

March and April were two months that I just worked and slept. My classroom wasn't as bad as it had been in the fall but it was still frustrating. We had the state mandated testing that was stressful but really I just got by. For Easter, mom and dad came to Athens. We went to visit FBC Watkinsville. I loved it and in May started attending. Finding a church home was huge to me because it helped me to look more towards God again. I had spent most of the year trying to do all things my way and in my power. I was not doing anything for God or even seeking Him. My life was miserable.

May was a lot of a blur. School ending is always a crazy time and I was preparing to leave for Fuge camps again. I went home for Mother's Day to see my family before the summer. On the last day of school with students, I blacked out for about 10 minutes. I'm fine and all tests the following week show that. However, it was crazy and stressful and added a lot of doctor's appointments to my busy 5 days after post-planning until I left for camp. I actually got to leave on the same day as planned but I arrived at camp several hours after I was supposed to because I had to have an EEG done that morning. Like I said, all tests were fine and I am feeling fine. It was probably all because of stress.

Camp. I love it! God works in so many ways and teaches me how to depend on Him as I am exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This summer was different for me. I was part of a SWAT team. The five us were part of the Mobile MFuge staff as well as the Panama City Beach Centrifuge staff. We traveled between the two camps depending on the need. We all started at Mobile for training and week 1 of camp. I loved being part of MFuge again and enjoyed serving with that staff. It was hard to leave my new family at the end of week one even though I knew I had another family waiting just 3 hours down the road. Funny side note: As I walked out of the dorms, to get in my car to drive to PCB I dropped my keys and my car key broke into two pieces!! I didn't know keys could break like that. God is good though and I hadn't cleaned out my purse since April and I still had my spare key in there from when I had some work done on it! Praise God for His infinite knowledge and His hand in our lives.

Leaving Mobile was hard as was arriving at PCB after they had finished training and week 1. They had formed their family already even though they were expecting us it still took time to really feel like part of the family. We didn't have all of the same experiences and did not know the inside jokes. It was a challenging week as we made that transition while working camp. It was great to be at the beach though. My first Friday night at PCB was quite memorable. We had finished camp that morning and then gone out for Hillary's birthday dinner and Daniel's good-bye dinner (Daniel was the camp pastor weeks 1 and 2). When we got back to Shalimar a bunch of us went down to the beach. On the way back, Brady picked up a "sand snake" and scared Kerry and I to death. Yes it was a rope but I was scared because I hate snakes that much and he made it look very real. So I calmed down and in our laughter we walked back to the houses to find two trucks stuck in sand beside the guys house. These trucks were STUCK. At one point the back right tire of one truck was all but 3 inches in the sand. It was insane. Matt however was able to get them out without having to call a tow truck. After all of that excitement, Rae, Brady, Derek, Wesley, Kerry, and I all went bowling. It was so much fun! Like I said my first Friday night was memorable and also helped me feel like part of the family.

I was blessed to spend the rest of the summer at PCB. I loved staying in one place and God taught me so much this summer. He really convicted me of a lot of things in my life and reignited my passion for missions. Right now I am looking at becoming move involved in missions and more than likely this will be my last year of teaching.

Working camp was incredible and I really need to spend time writing about camp. That will have to be another post though.

After camp, I had 3 days before pre-planning so I didn't really have a break. I have also spent the last 5 weekends in Blairsville helping my mom and dad with a move. I love their new house.

So I think that brings us mostly up to speed. Like I said I am looking at becoming move involved in missions and am praying for direction. I am considering seminary at this point but don't know if that will be next year and if so where it will be.

Today I was reading part of a study on the Twelve Apostles. It was talking about Simon called Peter. Simon means something like swaying in the wind whereas Peter means rock. This summer, I felt like I was becoming more like a rock. That I was learning to depend on God and lean on Him. Not that I was the rock but I was depending on The ROCK. The last few weeks as school as started and my life is busy and stressful and not what I want to do I have been moving away that and definitely been more of a Simon. I have been swaying in the wind. It is frustrating me. It is not who I want to be. I want to be someone that wholeheartedly follows God; for my whole life to be focused on Him and sharing His Good News with others.

So for now if I continue to blog it will be more about my thoughts and struggles as I learn to depend on God.